Missing Bits and Pieces
by TestifyGenius
Summary: Spoilers: For Season 4 What Dexter feels right after the events of the season's final.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Title: Missing Bits and Pieces

Rating: Teen. Bit of swearing.

Spoilers: For Season 4

A/N: Short little thing I _very_ quickly wrote.

He clutches his wailing, blood soaked child, as the police rush by; but they are nothing but blurred flashing colors and distorted sounds. All he can hear is Harry crying and all he can think is on thing. She's gone.

_Gone. _

He's felt death, seen it, and caused it more than any other person probably has but this is different. This, is a thousand times worst than accidentally killing that man or losing his father. Those felt like weights of guilt stacked on top of him, this however, this felt empty. Like all of his insides had been wrenched away, leaving nothing but the hollow shell of his skin.

Something's missing.

_She's_ missing.

_Rita_.

Dexter thinks he may have whispered her name, but he's not sure. He finds himself twitching away from a cop, a woman trying to take his screaming son away, somewhere deep inside his rational mind says that it's best if he lets go, let's his son be cleaned up and calmed down before there's any more mental damage; but the darkness leaps forward raging and feral forcing Dexter turn away from the woman and hold onto his son even tighter. Oh God his son. Harry whimpers slightly, his pudgy cheeks red with dried tears and blood. Dexter feels his stomach turn, blood; it's all over the pair of them. Her blood. _Rita's._

Carefully he sits on the curb, and starts to wipe away what's left of the boy's mother off his face. Most of it just smears, gets plastered into his hair making it slick or comes off on him; but Dexter feels just a tad bit better when he can see Harry's face again not covered in red specks.

Harry is quiet; almost too quiet it seems for the moment. His wide brown eyes peer into his father, and Dexter searches them deeply. Do they already have a trace of darkness in them? Is a monster like himself growing in there? He supposes he should feel more, feel pain, sorrow or anger; but for the moment he feels nothing. Curiosity, because all he can do is ask questions.

What Now? - seems to be the main one. What does he do now? Where should he go? Should he stay and wait till they remove the body and clean away the blood or should he just get in his car and leave, to Deb's or perhaps the state. There's no rule, no instruction guide on what to do after your wife has been viciously murdered in a bathtub by your enemy that you've already killed. Harry never gave that lesson.

Time continues to flow, moving forward even though for Dexter it feels as though everything is off balanced, Arthur Mitchell isn't suppose to _win_, he's not allowed to have the last laugh, that's just not how it works. This is all just wrong.

"Dexter." It's LaGuerta. She steps closer to him, but Dexter snaps to his feet and stumbled back instantly, tense and poised to run. "Dexter, Debra's here to take you and Harrison to her house." - There are no words of condolences or work-talk. LaGuerta can probably tell already that he isn't in the mood for either, that it's too soon to even think about doing so; but of course Debra doesn't and so she comes in at him like a bull, arms outstretched and eyes full of tears.

" Oh Jesus fucking Christ Dex. FUCK! " She wails into his shoulder, Harry joins her but Dexter is silent and still. After a few moments of this, Debra pulls away and drags them into her car, once inside she gives him a hard stare. One that demands his attention, he looks back but he knows it's an empty expression by the reflection in Debra's eyes.

" It's gonna okay Dex. I swear. I know it's bad, real fucking bad right now." She pauses to sniff and wipe away more tears, " - But your gonna get through this, I'm not gonna fucking go through what I did with Lundy."

Dexter wants to instantly point out the differences between them, that Deb was there when Lundy was shot, saw the man's life fade from his eyes. That unlike him, who wasn't there to stop, was also the cause of the murder; but Debra puts her hand up.

" We're get through this as a family. It's gonna be okay."

Dexter looks away from his sister and down to his sleeping son and strokes the child's back soothingly as best as he can.

_No. No it's not._

Please Review! - Thankful for any comments or advice!


End file.
